Latest News About Taylor Swift, Calvin Harris & Tom Hiddleston is Pretty

You know how we're kind of miffed that Taylor Swift dragged her heels before making a public statement about the Orlando massacre? A massive portion of this girl's fan base is LGBT, and then there's the whole "basic decency" thing. But that doesn't mean that we don't still admire her as a person, or enjoy her music, or even like her as a person.

And Taylor's been under attack this week after photos surfaced of her locking lips with Tom Hiddleston. And while sure, plenty of questions have pretty naturally arisen since her breakup was pretty recent, the answers to a lot of those questions about her are just: "almost certainly not." Come on, guys. We can't say that this is the first time that Taylor's been attacked for the grievous crime of having a boyfriend, that doesn't make this any better.

Well, now somebody's leaping to Taylor's defense and ... it's kind of the last person we expected. ...

In an op-ed, Piers Morgan -- of all people -- has waded in on the issue. And he is firmly Team Taylor.

So he goes after the attacks, item-by-item, starting with the suggestion that Taylor and Tom were caught kissing as some sort of publicity stunt.

"They were accused of deliberately staging the photos. She, apparently, to taunt previous boyfriend Calvin Harris and 'rub his nose in it.' He to promote his chances of becoming the next James Bond by portraying himself as a seductive ladies man. What a load of balderdash! You think either of these two major stars of their respective industries need to go around setting up fake kissing pictures to promote their brands? Pur-lease. They're not extras in Desperate Housewives."

Okay, obviously, he's making a lot of sense. Those sound like very believable motives for, like, characters in some very engaging dramas. Not so much for the behavior of real-life adults.

But we love the idea behind that conspiracy theory, because we love the "fake dating" trope. You know, where two people are pretending to be a couple for whatever reason and they end up falling for each other? It's a gem and, when done right, we love it. But no, we don't think that these two grown-ass adult celebrities are doing that with their lives.

And then there's the latest Kim Kardashian thing.

"Unfortunately, when people are this good-looking and this famous, such actions often provoke bitter outbursts of insane, spiteful jealousy. In a separate attack, Kim Kardashian branded Taylor a liar for saying she didn't know Kanye was going to include her in his song, 'Famous,' which included the repulsively misogynist line: 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. Why? I made that b***h famous.' Any self-respecting married woman should surely be far more agitated about why her husband wants to write songs about desiring sex with other women."

In Piers' mind, it all comes down to Kim being envious of Taylor's talent and success. We don't know if we quite buy that motive -- we think that she's probably just sticking with her husband.

Also, just a little tip for Kanye: we've noticed that Taylor seems to date men who are, like, attractive. Sometimes mostly just famous for being attractive. With that insurmountable obstacle in his way, we don't really see his 5'8" ass going anywhere near Taylor's romantic life.

Piers does try to contrast Taylor and Kim and he seems to have a deep misunderstanding of feminism (yes, they can both be very different people and be feminists), and he gets pretty slut-shamey, which does sort of spoil the mood. Overall, though?

As you may have gathered, we're not normally Piers Morgan's biggest fans, but when he's right, he's pretty damn right.

FISHWRAPPER